


i still miss all our nights, even fights were all better with you

by alltears



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Babysitting, Dad Dennis, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Season/Series 12, dennis is soft and weepy, emo shit, gays in love, mandy is a saint, minor trigger warning for implied rape, no i didnt proofread good luck, someone hug dennis reynolds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltears/pseuds/alltears
Summary: mac and dennis find each other. all it takes is dora the explorer, grain alcohol, and a three year-old.





	i still miss all our nights, even fights were all better with you

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey!! wrote this cause i was feeling emo about these boys and i just love them so much.
> 
> title is from better with you by this wild life

Dennis had been back from North Dakota for two months and 13 days, and he still wouldn’t tell Mac why he left his son.

 

But that was the least of Mac’s Dennis-related problems.

 

They didn’t so much as hug when Dennis knocked on their apartment door when he came home - without telling anyone, mind you - and he was always “too tired” to watch a movie or eat dinner. So, instead of hanging out with his best bud, Mac spent his nights cooking something he thought Dennis might eat and bringing it him in bed where he’d try to start a conversation but would always end up just sitting in an uncomfortable silence while Dennis ate.

 

The most energetic Mac had seen him was when he came home, sweating and panting, throwing his jacket on the floor and turning to Mac with wide, fearful eyes. 

 

“Mandy’s Uber will be here in 12 minutes!” Dennis yelped. 

 

“What do you need from me?” Mac jumped from his spot on the couch.

 

“Nothing, Mac,” Dennis shook his head and made a beeline for the kitchen. Immediately, he opened the door to their joint liquor stash and pulled out some of Mac’s grain alcohol.

 

“Oh!” Mac started, padding after him to the cabinet. “We need to childproof. Good idea - no, Dennis, hey!”

 

The bottle of clear alcohol  _ somehow  _ found its way to Dennis lips. Mac pulled it out of his grasp and placed it on top of the cabinet where Brian Jr. (and Dennis) couldn’t reach it. 

 

“Ugh. Whatever,” Dennis grumbled, stepping away. Mac gripped his arm, pulling him back. 

 

“C’mon, help me childproof!” Dennis shook him off, but nodded nonetheless. “Put the knives in your room. No, my room. Er, where are they sleeping?”

 

“Brian’s 3 years old, Mac, he’s not gonna get into the knives.”

 

“You don’t know that!” Mac huffed. “And change your shirt. I know blue brings out your eyes, but there’s a taco sauce stain on it.” 

 

Dennis rolled his eyes and stalked off to his room. Call Mac crazy, call him overboard, but he’d dreamt about Brian Jr. visiting ever since Dennis left. 

 

There was something beautiful about Dennis when he held his son. His face went soft and smiley, and he spoke gently to both Brian and Mac alike. Dennis had once sent him a video of himself and Brian back when he was sleeping on Mandy’s couch every night, in which he got the kid to say “hi, Mac!” to the screen.  _ Maybe  _ Mac let himself imagine a world where Brian belonged to him and Dennis. Maybe.

 

A knock at the door swept Mac out of his thoughts, and he dragged himself from his still spot in the kitchen.

 

“Mandy!”

 

“Mac!”

 

Mac didn’t hate Mandy, nor did he want to - She was a sweet woman who cared so deeply for her son, and apparently, for Dennis. Very few people wanted good things for any member of the gang, so that was something not to take for granted.

 

Mandy was a beautiful woman, too. Not what he used to consider beautiful - all big tits and blonde hair and willing to bang him - but glowing, twinkling eyes, child in her loving grasp beautiful. In another lifetime, Dennis could be happy with her and her duffel bag that screams “mom” and pink floral blouse that screams “Target clearance section”.

 

Being mindful of Brain Jr, Mac pulled the pair into a hug. 

 

“It’s good to see you two!”

 

“Oh, I know! And wowie, FaceTime doesn’t do you justice! When did you get so big and handsome?” Mandy smiled.

 

“I’ve always been big and handsome!” Mac laughed, a smidge of honest hurt seeping through his words.

 

Luckily, Dennis entered in a clean lilac button up to direct attention to himself (as he always seems to do).

 

“Dada!” Brian chirped, reaching his arms towards Dennis and grabbing in his direction. Dennis lit up at the sight of his child, and was quick to scoop Brian up into his arms.

 

“Hey, kiddo!” He grinned. “Mandy, how are you?”

 

“Ooh, fine. Sorry to do this, but would you mind watching Brian for a sec? That airline lost his bag, so I need to run to the store to buy him a couple new outfits. Do you happen to have a WalMart out here?”

 

“Walmart? No way!” Dennis frowned. “I’m not letting my child wear  _ WalMart  _ clothes.”

 

“My shirt is from Walmart,” Mandy folded her arms over her chest.

 

“Mine is, too,” Mac mumbled.

 

“...Yeah,” Dennis stretched the word out before passing Brian over to Mac, who accepted him warily. “I’m coming with you.”

 

“Mac, I know you’re a stand-up guy, but…” Mandy turned to Dennis. “You trust him to watch Brian?”

 

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He basically raised Charlie.”

 

“I thought you said Charlie can’t read!”

 

“No, but… He’ll be fine. Right, Mac?”   
  
“Y-yeah!” Mandy nodded, set her bag down, and then the door shut behind them, leaving Mac alone.

 

Well.

 

Not alone.

 

“Guess it’s just you and me, kid, huh?”

 

Turns out, looking after a living child is not as easy as it was in Mac’s head.

 

Mac set Brian down on the couch once his parents left, and they had been wrapped up in a bit of a staring contest with each other as he tried to figure out what to do with a child, alone in his apartment, with no toys or games.

 

“Do you… talk?”

 

“I talk!”

 

“Okay…”

 

“I run!”

 

“You  _ run _ ?”

 

At that, Brian Jr. wormed his way off of the couch and began running clumsily across the apartment from the wall of Mac’s room to the wall of Dennis’ back and forth. Panicking, Mac crouched by his door until Brian ran directly into his open arms, giggling.

 

“Good running, buddy! I don’t want your dad to kill me if you fall, though, so let’s find something else to do, huh?”

 

“Dada!”   
  
“Yeah, your ‘dada’ will kill me. What do you wanna play?”

 

“Mmm…” Brian tapped his chin with his finger in thought. “Dress up!”

 

“Uh, okay… Dress up as what? Superheroes? Princes?”

 

“I’ll be Spider-man, and you be Cinderella!” Brian giggled.

 

“Huh. Weird,” Brian’s face fell, and he broke into a pout. “Okay, kid, no need to be dramatic. Let me see what Spider-man clothes I have.”

 

It took less than five minutes for Mac to pull together a red beanie from college, a sequined tank top that one of Dennis’ old hook-ups must’ve left there years ago, and white yarn that Maureen left in Mac’s room that looked too expensive to throw out.

 

“This isn’t Spider-man!”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m not  _ actually  _ Cinderella because I’m wearing a blonde wig and a blue hula skirt, but this is what we’re working with.”

 

Brian blinked at him, and slowly put the beanie over his face.

 

“I’m Spider-man!”

 

“Yeah, kid. You are.”

 

One hour, two finger paintings, and three episodes of Dora the Explorer later, Brian fell asleep on Mac’s chest, the both of them splayed out on the couch with their heads turned to the TV as Boots tried to find a way past the big chicken sitting in the middle of the road.

 

“Go around it, dumbass!” Mac whispered so as not to wake the sleeping boy on his stomach, wrapping an arm around him to keep him from falling off. He hoped toddlers were allowed to sleep on their front.

 

Just as the episode came to an end, Mandy and Dennis stumbled into the apartment through their laughter - God, Mac had missed Dennis’ laugh during the year he was gone. Mac twisted back to look at them.

 

“Hey, guys!”

 

“Aw, hey Mac,” Mandy cooed, lowering her voice upon realizing Brian was asleep. “Dennis, look at them!”

 

“Yeah. Great,” Dennis didn’t meet Mac’s gaze. “I’m going to my room. We can order Chinese or something.”

 

Dennis stalked off to his room as promised, closing the door behind him gently, presumably out of respect for Brian.

 

“Jeez Louise. What’s got him in a mood all of a sudden?”

 

“Me,” Mac sniffed. “I’m the problem.”

 

“Boys,” Mandy sighed. She walked to where Mac’s legs rested on the cushions and tapped his ankle twice. Mac tucked his feet up so she could sit, and carefully - very, very carefully - sat up. “Talk to me, Mac.”

 

“Are you sure? Won’t that be weird?”

 

“It’s already weird, Mac. This whole situation is weird. Now tell me what’s going on between you two.”

 

“Well… Okay. Dennis is like, my best buddy. We’ve always been close. And uh, we’ve  _ been together  _ before.”

 

“Oh! I didn’t know that!”

 

“Yeah, I mean, years ago, but… Ever since I came out, he’s been weird around me. Like, we used to joke about dating or do schemes where we’re married but now that I’m… He’s acting all weird about it. Nothing I do seems to please him anymore, and I’m trying so much more better.”

 

Mandy hummed and nodded, her eyebrows pushed together in a cross between listening intensely and pity.

 

“Have you talked to him about this?”

 

“Uh, no?”

 

“Hm. I know he isn’t the easiest person to talk to, but he loves you. He’ll listen.”

 

“Ha. Yeah, right. If he loved me, we’d be…”

 

“Where would you be, Mac?”

 

“We’d be fucking married by now. On, like, a boat somewhere, with a little kid just like Brian,” Mac let his eyes close. “And we’d steal all of Frank’s cash and credit cards before we left so we’d never have to work again. And he’d be nice to me. He’d tell me that I’m… funny, or something, and I’d tell him how beautiful he is. Because he is beautiful. We wouldn’t have to fight to talk to each other, and he would be honest with me, and… We’d be a family. He’d love me so much, and I’d love him more.”

 

“Have you asked him to marry you and live on a boat, Mac?” 

 

“Of course not!”

 

“I think that’s why you aren’t living like that, then.” Mac’s eyes fluttered open at that.

 

“You think?”

 

“I know. He didn't leave me. He came back to you,” Mandy smiled tenderly, honestly, and left to unpack her things.

 

There was a tightening in Mac’s throat all of a sudden. There was no way Dennis loved him like Mac loved him. Unlike himself, Dennis thought before doing, and was picky about who he got into bed with, and had never actually had a girlfriend, and jesus fuck, maybe Mandy was right.

 

Cause Dennis was scared. Scared when he was 14 in the library, scared when he was going to college, scared when him and Mac moved in together, scared when he spent four nights in a row rutting against Mac and kissing him messily, and fucking terrified when Mac came out because now it all  _ meant  _ something, it meant that this was reality and they loved each other and there’s no dancing around it anymore with excuses of confusion and demons or shoving it down with Catholic guilt.

 

And then there were two options.

 

Talk to Dennis.

 

Or shove it down deep like Mac did with everything else he didn’t want to face.

 

Luckily, Brian Jr. made his choice for him by waking up and crying out for his daddy.

 

“Fuck, uh, don’t worry, kid, it’s okay.” Mac cleared his throat, sat up, and wiped his eyes. “Dennis? Brian wants you!” 

 

It was a matter of seconds before Dennis was sitting leg to leg with Mac, kissing and cradling his kid like his life depended on it.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, Brian, dad’s here,” Dennis murmured soft things to Brian until his sobs subdued, his big eyes staring into Mac’s as he laid his head against Dennis.

 

“Hey, buddy. You’re okay!” Brian continued to stare blankly, so Mac decided to cheer him up the old fashioned way by sticking his tongue out at him and pulling a goofy face. Brian giggled then, his wet eyes crinkling up. Dennis followed his gaze towards Mac and suddenly his ears were red and his slight smile was gone and their faces were so fucking close and the words were out of Mac’s mouth before he knew it.

 

“Why am I not good enough for you?”

 

Dennis swallowed, hard, and Brian Jr. fell silent. Even babies know when shit’s going down, apparently.

 

“What are you talking about?”   
  
“I mean… I’m bad with kids, and you hate me. I’m good with kids, and you still hate me. I’m in the closet, you’re mad at me. I’m out of the closet, you’re weird around me. I don’t know how to be any better, ‘cause I-” Mac looked to Brian Jr. because looking anywhere other than Dennis’ wide and vulnerable eyes was better. “‘Cause I love you, man, and I think you love me too, but you don’t act like it, and that’s not okay.”

 

“I… Um…” Dennis stumbled over his words until Mac cut him off.

 

“Stop. Tell me you love me, and that you’re trying to be better.”

 

“No,” Mac’s stomach tightened and he felt like he might hurl all over the love of his life and his kid. “You deserve better, Mac. You’re… such a mess, but you’re so good, and sweet, and I’m-I’m so scared, Mac! This wasn’t supposed to be my life, and I wasn’t supposed to be in love with someone like you, but I  _ am _ ! So you need to  _ leave me _ . Please. Before I drag you down with me.”

 

“And Mandy? And Brian? What about the gang?” Mac pleaded. “We  _ love  _ you, Dennis. I love you so much, and none of us have to crumble. This doesn’t have to end in tragedy, Den.”

 

“Yes, it does, there’s no way-”

 

“Dennis,” Mac cupped his jaw and smoothed his thumb over his cheekbone. “Tell me you love me, and that you’re trying to get better.”

 

Dennis bumped his forehead against Mac’s and shut his eyes.

 

“I love you,” he whispered, so low that Mac wouldn’t have heard the sound if he wasn’t searching for it. “and I’ll try to get better.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

"Mac?"

 

"Yeah, Den?"

 

"Wipe the pink lipstick off your mouth so I can kiss you."

 

"Oh, damn it, Brian!"

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it! my sunny twitter is @findshispride and my tumblr is @gina-binetti!! comments make my month :)


End file.
